Seeking Serenity: Staying home, even if we’re in the green

It’s been a while since I’ve written one of these.

Since we’re back in the newsroom at least half the time, my schedule is approaching “normal” again. I’m spending more time in the office, more time surrounded by people other than my roommate, more time just doing things in the past three weeks than I had in the previous three months.

It makes me realize that, now that things are approaching “normal” again — whatever “normal” actual means — I no longer have as much time being unable to escape my own thoughts. As such, I’ve had a whole lot less time to spend seeking serenity.

But that doesn’t mean there isn’t serenity to be sought. If anything, it might be even more important now to be introspective and self-aware than before.

During the continuing and seemingly never-ending Great Bad Thing happening this year, it’s important to be aware of what your own boundaries are, and to respect those of your loved ones.

Luzerne County goes into the green phase of Pennsylvania’s phased reopening this Friday, and Lackawanna County, where I live, will presumably follow at some point in the next few weeks unless things suddenly get a whole lot worse. With the progression into the green phase, we’ll see the biggest relaxation of restrictions since those restrictions were first put in place.

I’m sure plenty of people reading this — along with other columnists in this paper — cannot wait to get out, support local businesses and have a drink at their favorite local bar this weekend. In the green phase, bars and restaurants will begin to allow indoor service again, and I’ll admit, it’s incredibly tempting to go grab a beer and a burger with friends.

But it’s not tempting enough to get me out there yet.

Don’t get me wrong. I do not begrudge the people who are going out this weekend. I really want to as well. But — and this should really be no surprise to anyone who’s been following “Seeking Serenity” — I just do not feel ready to do it yet.

It feels like it would take mental gymnastics that I am just not capable of to convince myself it’s a good idea. As I’ve said numerous times, COVID-19 is still a threat, even if Americans are bored of it, and it will continue to be a threat until a safe and reliable vaccine can be produced. And it’s also important to be aware of the fact that it’s not impossible that a vaccine won’t be produced; the COVID-19 pandemic is not the only one happening right now, with the other pandemic being HIV/AIDS, another horrific virus for which no vaccine has yet been developed.

To put it more simply: it is not unreasonable to think that there’s a chance that we will always have to wear face masks. There is a chance that this is just what life is now.

These thoughts are more or less constantly floating around in the back of my head. And with that in mind… I just can’t convince myself to go out this weekend. I’m far more inclined to give it a few more weeks, maybe a month, and wait for us all to settle more into this “new normal.” Once things have been going smoothly long enough for a little while, you’ll be able to catch me sitting at a bar again.

However, I also know that I tend to be a little overly cautious about these things. So if you’re going out this weekend, I sincerely hope you have a great time. I hope you wear a mask and take every possible consideration to keep yourself, your loved ones and the servers you’ll be interacting with safe. I hope you tip your servers well, since their budget has probably been deeply negatively affected by the crisis.

And let’s not put too fine a point on it: to a certain extent, those servers are risking their lives to get you your plate of wings and your Yuenglings. Be kind, be patient, and remember that Friday night is going to be the first time many servers in our areas will be dealing with a whole lot of customers at once. I used to be a server myself, so I get how it is to be a bit rusty after a while away from it.

Kindness is really the most important thing in this situation. If you’re like me, don’t shame your friends and family who will be going out this weekend. As long as they’re taking the necessary precautions to keep themselves safe, there’s no reason to shame them. And, similarly, if you do plan on going back to normal, don’t shame the people like me. We all have our reasons to stay home, and some of them are incredibly pressing.

I’m sure your friend who is immunocompromised won’t be rushing out of their house to join you at the bar. Treat them with love and understanding, because they’re doing what they have to do.

As for me, I’ll likely be spending this weekend much like the other ones I’ve spent since COVID-19 began: I’ll be ordering some takeout and maybe reading a book out in the sun.

We all have our little ways to find serenity, and this is how I’m finding mine for now.